How do you eat a King Crab?
We didn’t buy the special edition Lays for the Chinese New Year, but are mulling whether to buy a horse sculpture for the deck.
Finally, Cillian Murphy makes an appearance in 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple. But how did the character become an erudite, Oxford Professor type?? But the more important question is, does humanity’s list of stupidities matter in the face of a zombie apocalypse?
Did you know that if you cut up aubergines really thinly and used them like say, in pinapaitan or some soupy dish with meaty chunks of meat, you’d be fooled in thinking you were eating the buttery ribbons of fat you’re not supposed to eat?
Sick and behind on my reading list
The cough has developed into a full-blown-whatever-it-is (bothersome sinuses, chesty cough, dry throat) and I’m still slogging through book three of The Empyrean series by Rebecca Yarros, like what the sigma????
Full disclosure- I love dragons and magic, but I skip through the unimaginative (!) sex parts of the book. I’m in the middle part now where they finally find Andarna’s kind and the fucking cunts reject her because apparently, she’s the dragon equivalent of someone with special needs. Anyhow, 500+ more pages to go!
Here’s what’s next:
Forbidden Notebook by Alba de Cespedes, translated by Ann Goldstein
Out running an errand, Valeria Cossati gives in to a sudden impulse - she buys a shiny black notebook. She starts keeping a diary in secret, recording her concerns about her daughter, the constant churn of the domestic routine and her fears that her husband will discover her new habit.
Girl With Curious Hair by David Foster Wallace
In these short stories, the author renders the bizarre normal and the absurd hilarious, from the eerily real, almost holographic evocations of historical figures.
Checkout 19 by Claire-Louise Bennett
A fresh take on the coming-of-age novel-one in which we don't already know how the story will end, or if it will have an 'ending' at all
You Like It Darker by Stephen King
Short fiction from one of my favourite authors whose long works I now kinda avoid.
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
The dystopian classic, but in comics form!
Life Ceremony by Sayaka Murata
The strange, surreal, humorous and the grotesque as only Japanese writers can write them
Ghost Roots by Demi Aguda
Debut short-story collection by a Nigerian writer that was a finalist for the 2024 National Book Award for Fiction.
When you need to actually recover from the vacation you just had
I picked up a cough from sleeping every single night in an air-conditioned room, would you believe?? If someone tells you that this is the norm, that there isn’t really any other way, it’s not and they’re wrong (Auckland however, sits at a perfect (night) summer temperature between 16 to 18 degrees centigrade with less than 50% humidity).
Indulge in the quiet; just birds in the morning, or someone doing the lawn. I miss the malunggay bread seller though, announcing himself through a loudspeaker on cue every afternoon around 3pm (and the bread is good).
A near-empty refrigerator and going back to one meal a day.
4. Losing weight is not the point (lost 1 kg), but to get your fitness level to where it was before.
5. Finding something to do, like washing the dishes, doing laundry, sorting clothes- anything really that gets you up and moving, because having everything done for you is just wrong.
True or False?
It’s worth reconnecting with SOME people in your past.
The flooding in Pangasinan is an act of God.
Voters are to blame.
The first step towards creating a genuine equitable society is getting rid of political dynasties. For real and for good.
Having this much food is a distraction (from the actual issues) as well as a health risk (especially when the health care system you have is neither equitable nor free).
Done
Not being able to find an ideal place to walk, to jog (not fucking jogging on the highway).
Eating three meals a day
Waiting for the garbage to be picked up
Listening to the drone of the television blasting cheerful programming the whole day
Listening to the rooster crowing the whole day
Being approached by people asking me for shit
Bye!
Things I'll Do If I Was Rich (1)
One day, all the rats as big as housecats had mysteriously disappeared. Turns out, a family of unrelated cats had started hanging out in the backyard. My sister-in-law’s mum, bless her heart, had taken to feeding one of them (Mr. Moustache) and he stuck around. Pretty soon, several more white, slinky-bodied strangers followed soon after. I’d met them all last June and this year, I got acquainted with a young ginger kitten who was too young to resist me picking her up. How she came to be with the adult cats I’ll never know.
In less than a week, she would come running at the sound of my voice (well, I always had food for her so..). Feeding her special tidbits, I’d make sure to fend off the other cats from trying to steal what she was eating. In less than a week, she’d gained a bit more weight and some sass to get some food for herself when they would all be fed from a single trough.
If I was rich, I would definitely bring her back with me to New Zealand. Though the process is quite straightforward, it would be quite expensive.
Little ginger would have to take her chances in Naguilayan. I pray to the spirits of nature to protect and nurture her until we meet again.
Scanned for life
Every time I visit, I go through a never-ending pile of photos which I bring home and scan. Some are so damaged that it’s a painstaking effort to clean them up and fix them; AI can only do so much. I should seriously start to think about how what happens next, otherwise, they’ll end up joining 40,000 other digital images in my cloud account.
High school reunion! (sort of)
My cousin told me that my old high school was holding a Grand Alumni Homecoming but 1) it was too late to go; 2) I didn’t bring anything to wear; 3) I didn’t really want to go.
My cousin was able to reconnect me with an old high school friend, however and it’s funny how you just pick up where you’ve left off. B and I became fast friends only after high school and it was cemented one Christmas day when instead of going to hear mass, I cycled to her house for our usual long chats and got involved in an accident on the way home. ‘That’s what you get for skipping mass on Jesus’ birthday, ’ my mother screamed at me through hysterical tears. I only got a few scrapes and bruises, but my bicycle was totalled.
We ended up at a coffee shop (of course), and a few of our batch mates dropped by. Turns out, there wasn’t really much of a crowd this year and B and I were honest in admitting that our social batteries could only handle interactions with people from our class (snooty much?). We figured that look, we’re old, we’re a skip and a hop away from retirement, death or disease, so we might as well do what we actually feel like doing and say what needed to be said.
And of course we all did, which for me was far more productive and satisfying than wearing a one-size-fits-all all alumni shirt and hanging around the school the whole day trying to figure out who that person is claiming you were best friends back in the day.
Life is too short for pointless nostalgia and weak tea, though we’ve reluctantly resurrected an age-old question that has been making the rounds since we left school (and still no answers).
WHERE THE HELL IS SWEET HAZEL VARGAS???
Coffee with friends and family who matter
Ten years ago, inviting someone for coffee would have been foreign. But things have changed, and here are the facts from Google’s AI overview.
Over 16,870: A 2022 report from the Philippine Statistics Authority (PSA) showed this number of registered local coffee shops and related businesses.
Growing Culture: Coffee is a top beverage, with Filipinos consuming around 2.5 cups daily, making it the second-largest consumer in Asia after Japan, according to a 2024 Inquirer article.
Major Chains: Starbucks alone has over 460 stores in the country, with other chains like Figaro and Bo's Coffee adding to the count.
Urban Density: Major cities like Makati and Cebu show high concentrations, with roughly one coffee shop for every 4,000-5,000 residents in those areas.
Some good stuff
Exceptional food like papait, steamed kamote tops, bangus innards, green mangoes, almondigas the size of rocks seeping spicy, sweet vinegar and Goldilocks cakes.
Good friends and you know who you are
PAL (nobody clapped when the plane landed, not that I ever minded this).
AC and non-AC buses that are just the right size
Not seeing or hearing from people you never really cared to ever see or hear from again
Annoying Philippine things
Amin, ginawa da lan chips (is it even healthy??)
45-minute traffic on a 2km stretch of road
People you know who actually know better, but whose politics are different from yours
Three meals a day plus snacks in between
ZERO planning for where to build things; so does it mean that we’re gonna get a fucking 7-11 in front of our house?
Fending off sales staff at Watsons (fucking leave me alone!! Do you honestly think I need niacinamide????)
Christmas 2025
I started this post with, ‘after the gifts have been opened and the food eaten..’ but then stopped myself. Don’t overthink it. The question is very simple- did you have a great Christmas? And if the answer is yes, then that’s all there is to it.
For better or worse, through thick and thin, you should be spending your life with only those who truly matter.
3 Days Before Christmas
5 Days Before Christmas
The food train continues. But did you know that aside from its cholesterol content, fried chicken is not a bad food item if you’re watching your carbs?? This is what makes KFC special- because you only have it once a year.
As I’m writing this - off to the airport in about two hours- I’m running a mental check of what I may have forgotten to pack. Mental note next time to ask for an additional checked bag. Another mental note to pare down (yes, two shoes will suffice if you’re just running around Binmaley lol).
We had a pre-Christmas gift-opening just so we could have that satisfying feeling of being pleased at what a no-children lifestyle can allow you to afford lol. One of my friends who is an accountant (which says a lot about her pragmatism), complained about her kids’ Christmas wish-list. “Asking for so much, when I get really low returns,’ she said and I totally get it. Growing up, my mother always pointed out the effort and expense spent on our upbringing and it’s years later, as an adult, did I realise what that really meant. For me, it means an obligation to myself and to my parents to do better. Because when that works out well, it’s a win-win right?
The Weekend
Unglazed windows, cheap cabinets that I keep being accused of breaking (if they were better quality, they wouldn't break was my defence!), a kitchen needing renovation. Lily woke me up earlier than usual and when I sleepily trudged upstairs to give her some food, the view of the peninsula was an ironic reminder of why our crumbling palace was worth so much, in spite of..
Everything’s in bloom. I’ve had this Tahitian lime and this olive tree for over years and I’ve seen kids grow bigger and taller in a year. Now suddenly, they’re bearing fruit.
So much food, so little time. Clams + garlic + butter + white wine + fresh pasta.
We just went to the mall to buy fresh jandals at Havaianas and there it was- the walkway to the new Ikea just across. The Sunday crowd was okay but if you’re hoping to get some food, the queue was over an hour and a half, and for what? Meatballs and $2 hotdog?? I bet the food lines in Gaza are quicker. The kitchen stuff was intriguing; you pick a kit, they make measurements and consultations with you and if you get cold feet putting everything yourself, they have installation referral. A basic one starts at a startling $2,227 (for comparison with our two-bathroom, 1 toilet, 1 laundry reno, our bathroom vanity cost more than that).
11 days to Christmas
It’s so easy to mistake discomfort from 28-degree heat as being an unsettling feeling about the world in general. But this is just me. New Zealand summer is unwaveringly clear, the sky a flat expanse of blue. It’s so harsh that a couple of years back, I noticed that half my face was darker than the other; the result of an entire summer walking home from the bus stop, the sun shining to my right. The saying goes that there’s a big hole in the ozone just above New Zealand. Higher rates of cancer, they say, but I’m more philosophical. You get to see things a bit clearer than most people.
I used to hate summer. I’m that person who revels in the gloomy, moody greys of a rainstorm or a drizzly winter’s day. But things change, and people change. Go out into the light and do something. Get out of your head.
You’re actually fortunate that you live in a country where undiluted common decency prevails.
Food anxiety
I saw it on Instagram, some influencer preaching the benefits of canned sardines as a super ketogenic food. I don’t really care if it’s true. I’ve been on a nearly ketogenic way of eating the last two months or so- I just eyeball everything and if I want to eat carbs, then I eat carbs- and at the risk of sounding like a doctor, I can say that I’m in a perfectly stable (ketogenic??) state.
I don’t feel hungry. I have constant energy. I work out regularly within the safety zone of my shoulder injury. My weight has stayed in the same 74-75 kg range, even as I found myself again comfortably fitting into size 28-30 pants though I can’t really wear them anymore because my thighs and glutes have become more substantial.
So I know it’s working and most importantly, I don’t over-think it like I used to. I have more important concerns than agonising whether to have shredded lettuce with a miso-yuzu dressing or pan-fried eggplant slices with my gochujang-spiced Wagyu beef mince.
Most of the time, food is just fuel and nourishment. But it doesn’t mean surviving on nothing but boring steamed vegetables and grilled chicken. Every so often, you discover that little things like canned sardines and smoked seafood make for a tasty canapes-like meal.
Trouble is, in less than 12 days, it’s the holidays and it’s giving me a bit of anxiety. There’s no itinerary, more of a food schedule.
Dec 19: pre-departure dinner
Dec 20: catch-up drinks and maybe dinner with two of my closest friends
Dec 21: Buffet breakfast at the hotel/ lunch at the mall with cousins
Dec 21: Dinner when we arrive home
Dec 22:Catch-up lunch out/ another dinner
Dec 23: Catch-up coffees with close friends
Dec 24: Noche Buena, alcohol
Dec 25: leftovers and more food
Dec 26: Family Reunion
21 Days Before Christmas
I’ve just been busy the last two weeks that I didn’t notice that all I was eating was protein, which lately, is so easy when it’s everywhere. Protein wraps, protein water, protein canned soup and my favourite, protein-dense coconut yoghurt which has the consistency and flavour of really soft cheesecake, yum! And then one day, boom! You’re on the toilet doing a dump and you can feel it- your shit is as dense and heavy as a damned brick!
So many treats popping up but at this point, I’ve gone far beyond the initial plateau, the constant, irksome cravings. It’s a feeling of triumph tinged with a bit of sadness to stroll through a Dutch deli on Black Friday and leave with NOTHING (pistachio stollen bites, tres leches stroopwafels and Gouda cheese half-price).
Finished my test packing, and it came in at 14kgs, 16 kgs more stuff to possibly put in. Now how am I going to fill it up on my return? Clothes aren’t necessarily cheap in the Philippines (the good kind anyway) and there’s nothing I hate more than going to the mall during the holidays looking for stuff. Maybe I’ll get canned tuyo or bangus or something and tons of dried mangoes.
We found a drowned wax-eye bird in the pail of water on the deck. I read somewhere that curing the browned tips of my indoor never never plants involved only watering them with distilled water. So we’ve placed a couple of buckets around the house to capture rain-water. Our hypothesis is that the wax-eye flew onto the glass sliding door, got knocked out and fell into the pail which sits just in front of the door. Poor bird. Don’t know which is a worse fate, drowning or being eaten by the cat.
By the age of 50, you should be wise enough to let go of these 20 things
I saw this on Facebook and I thought why the hell not, let me post this. For the record, I don’t have a personal Facebook account anymore. I just have a professional one for work to manage our socials. Every so often, Meta recommends me someone I know and I just shake my head sadly; I’m done and fuck you Mark Zuckerberg.
But this was cute, so..
The illusion of control. This is the thing- learn to distinguish the difference between control and being organised. Sure, every plan and preparation can go awry, but if you don’t organise your life in anticipation of what may come whatever it is, you’ll end up worse off (eg. use sunscreen EVERY DAY damn it!).
The need to prove yourself. I never had to because work and actions always speak for themselves. However you do need to prove to yourself that you’ve changed; that you’re not lying to yourself, that you’re not making excuses, and that you’ve truly given 101% of yourself.
Carrying grudges. I don’t have a lot, so I’m going to indulge myself in carrying some a bit longer.
Trying to fix everyone. I never have.
The fear of change. I love change because it does what I never seem to have the courage to doing- doing it myself.
Toxic loyalty. As someone who has never really had a big social circle, I never had this problem.
The comparison trap. Ha! I’m shallow when it comes to this. I’ve never cared about someone else’s career or wealth because I know that I can never compete with that, but it will bother me if they’ve found a way to make their neck area a bit firmer (I’ve been noticing a thinning of my neck skin and I’m struggling to find an effective way to reverse this- suggestions anyone??).
The addiction to busyness. I don’t mind this, I’m more concerned about the quality of this busyness- am I getting results equal to what I’m putting in??
Guilt for prioritising yourself. The first lesson I ever learned was, put yourself first because if you’ve done that, you’re in a better position to help others should they ask for it.
Old identities. I’m a different person every year and that’s a conscious effort on my part.
Unrealistic expectations of others. Never cared about how people choose to deal with me; just don’t be an asshole because I’ll fuck you up.
Overthinking the past. I don’t remember 89% of my past because what’s the point?
The chase for perfection. They say that it’s a moving target that robs joy, but so is settling and saying this will do. Be wise in choosing the things that you want to be perfect because in the end when you do get it, you realise that true perfection is a standard that you yourself have set.
Defining worth through productivity. Don’t be a fucking Gen Z lol. Your value is BOTH what you’ve produced and the presence you’ve brought into it.
Arguing with people committed to misunderstanding you. I’ve never met someone personally or professionally who was like this to me, but if I did, I’ll do everything in my power to get rid of them as quickly as possible (sorry, just finished watching The Beast In Me and I’m having a Nile Jarvis moment).
The belief that love alone sustains relationships. You’re an idiot if you’ve believed this lol.
Blaming your parents forever. Mmmmmmm. I keep trying to find something to blame them for. Maybe if I found a couple, I can finally find some fodder for that novel lol.
The fear of starting over. It’s not fear, it’s more of laziness. Ugh, do I have to start again??
People-pleasing. I’m not a people pleaser, I’m just nice and everyone actually says so. Plus I feel sad when everyone else ignores that special person with the propensity to tell you all her child-dramas when you’re making coffee in the office kitchen.
The need to have it all figured out. What’s wrong with trying to eliminate uncertainty now that you have AI lol??
27 Days Before Christmas
When I was in my teens and knowing that a long Christmas break was at hand, I would take the opportunity to make a list of stuff I wanted to do or change for the new year ahead. I didn’t really wait until the stroke of midnight when the 1st day of the new year rolled in to make some spontaneous resolution. I knew even that it took effort, planning and dedication to make stuff happen. And the things I wanted to do and change were small, stupid teenage stuff like working out and building muscle (which didn't really happen until I was in my late 20s), learning French (got a 2.5 for it as a university elective which pulled down my average) and to succeed at literally everything whatever that meant.
I found this book you see, at my dad’s ancestral house, an old hardbound copy of Napoleon Hill’s The Law of Success and I was amazed that there could even be a blue-print for that, and explained clearly and painstakingly which was so unlike my mom’s unhelpful rebukes (after I had failed and then what?) or my dad’s silence (he was always busy).
But it’s a habit I’ve carried ever since and while I’m not rich, muscled or spectacularly successful, I am here and I am happy, and I am content, and I am still making lists, so…