First day back

LUNCH. Last night’s leftovers of grilled boneless chicken thighs and spiral pasta and anchovies

LUNCH. Last night’s leftovers of grilled boneless chicken thighs and spiral pasta and anchovies

Well not really. I just had to go in for a workshop-meeting with a project manager and we finished just before lunch. I did bring lunch so I stayed a bit enjoying the AC now doing a nice even heat; fixed up one of the girl’s Adobe account; fixed up my desk which didn’t really need that much fixing because I sorted it all out before lockdown. The coffee machine wasn’t turned on though so had to do instant which is fine. I also needed to wash my coffee cups and plates because we weren’t doing a washing-machine run.

But that’s fine.

In fact, everything is fine. Without going into specifics, the company is fine- it had the foresight to prepare for a financial downturn of some sort- and the whole country is relatively fine.

New Zealand is going back to Alert Level 1 next Wednesday after one week of no reported cases of Covid-19. We’re officially going back to the office Wednesday as well and I could already hear the groaning of some people who are loathe to exchange their comfy sweats for office clothes.

WORK ESSENTIALS (lol): Armnani Exchange progressive glasses by OPSM; Bailey Nelson prescription sunnies; Prada Pour Homme; Khiel’s Oil Eliminator spray; anti-bacterial gel; Auckland Transport card (coz commuting is better than driving).

WORK ESSENTIALS (lol): Armnani Exchange progressive glasses by OPSM; Bailey Nelson prescription sunnies; Prada Pour Homme; Khiel’s Oil Eliminator spray; anti-bacterial gel; Auckland Transport card (coz commuting is better than driving).

Yes I'm a happy forty-something, nearing fifty-something soon (Part 2)

14. Go easy on the outrage- or maybe, just don’t get into it. Because is there a point still to it, aside from feeling something a little bit better than helplessness?

15. Channel tricky stuff like outrage inward and turn it into something that benefits you. A snarky tweet will not change the world even if it gets a million likes, just saying.

16. It’s okay finally to be selfish- but with boundaries.

17. It’s okay to eat anything- once a year!

18. Health is TRULY wealth

19. SAVE- my mother always gave that advice as well as the horrors you’ll get when you don’t- and it’s better late than never, though there will be things you have to give up because you can’t afford them.

20. It’s nice to aspire to something- but start counting how much that is costing you.

21. Live simply- it won’t work all the time, but keep trying.

22. Don’t ever let yourself believe that you can’t live without something

23. In time, you will forget and realise that you’re still alive and more importantly, better off.

24. Exercise. All. The. Time; and no activity is too small or inconsequential.

25. There is a lot about your body you can change, and I’m not talking about plastic surgery.

Yes I'm a happy forty-something, nearing fifty-something soon (Part 1)

This is my take if I may, from Leila’s post which you can read here; the gist is: People who are 40+ and happy with their life, what is your advice to people in their 20s?

My sibling’s kids- Matt is 20+ and Ally and Toni are not far behind- are sensible and raised well-enough to make good decisions, so it hasn’t occurred to me at all to give them advice (they can ask me for a phone sure or money if I have to spare and I can always give these…), but I’m not their parent. And at some point, all of us have become adults on a level, if not ever shifting playing field and it may well be, that they may give me advice who knows?

And because I’m always extra (this is number 12), here’s FORTY:

1. Forgive

2. Forget- the past is dead. If you committed something heinous though like murder or theft, THAT IS NOT exempt lol

3. Believe in God because there is one

4. Pray whenever you can

5. Have faith in yourself first because it starts there

6. if you need help, go ask for it

7. Be (always) helpful when you can

8. if you’re naturally unhelpful, then don’t help

9. Nothing is worse than forcing yourself to do something that’s not natural to you (like the colour Khaki).

10. Try though to change parts of yourself that you think, will benefit you if you changed them even if they seem, well, set.

11. Study your habits- not closing lids, not reading instructions, hanging laundry one way, cooking adobe one way- and see if by changing them, life is suddenly better. Little changes actually count. A lot.

12. Try to be extra in everything that you do because nobody has ever liked a half-baked cake; was promoted doing half-assed work; or gotten off satisfyingly from a semi-rigid penis.

13. Don’t be too extra in love though- love is never a resource you should extravagantly waste (and yes, it can be wasted!).

Back to my other home

It honestly didn’t feel like it had been over a month. We iMessaged and Facetimed nearly everyday. I think if I tried, I could have flown the drone over to Papakura.

Life goes on.

Today: 2kms

  1. What to do for winter? (more of a question whether I buy more clothes 😅)

  2. Courier blues; courier packages being dumped; massive delivery delays and internal snafus- been waiting for a package for over a week only to be told it had been returned to the retailer because of missed paperwork.

  3. Ordered KFC two days in advance - 😂- so we hope the delivery people don’t fuck it up.

Day 33: The day you stop counting the days

When I was a teenager, I used to count the days before summer school break. I would make a list of things that were not things to do, but things to accomplish. I don’t remember now what those were, but I do remember what i didn't accomplish; learn French was on my list for two consecutive summers. I even stole a book on beginner’s French from our high-school library.

Today, I’m still counting and I’ve asked myself what’s the objective? Is there an end-game to this? Is it back to the normalcy we once knew? I said it back in February before we even had an inkling of how severe things were going to be “Just stay at home really and probably not spend too much money. Maybe we need this. Maybe this is the (soft) reset humanity needs to see exactly what its priorities are. And I believe these are mine, or at least something better to do than twiddling your thumbs..”

And I did save money
I exercised a bit
Wasn’t able to draw anything
I cooked a lot
Didn't get to learn how to drive
Didn't get to watch Godfather or a whole lot of shows either

I need to add more stuff to the list. I should also stop counting the days.

Day 31: Anzac Day

It’s one of those holidays I politely celebrate by sleeping in or watching the festivities on the news. It’s by accident and choice that you live in New Zealand, but its history will never really be a part of you. Mary & Sam had grandfathers who fought in the 1st and 2nd world wars and they have the medals & memorabilia stored somewhere. My Tatay lived through the second-world war and my dad was born in 1942 in Japanese occupied Manila and all I have are stories that I don’t actually remember anymore.

But we all forgot that the stand-in-your-driveway commemoration that was asked of all New Zealanders early this morning and not that tMary & Sam would wake up for it anyway.

I would’ve if the two white people in the house led the way but we all got up at 10am which is the usual for a Saturday.

I decided to make Anzac biscuits though which is strange because I’ve never liked their inherent hardness. They’re similar to gingersnap cookies with that tough outer surface that gives way to a crumbly inside. I got the recipe from an email by Farro Foods which called for:

1 cup rolled oats
¾ cup desiccated coconut
1 cup flour (or use 1 cup almond meal and ½ cup gluten free cornflour)
¾ cup brown sugar
125g butter
2 Tbsp golden syrup
½ tsp baking soda
2 Tbsp boiling water
¾ cup cranberries, chopped dried apricots (soaked in hot water for 5 mins and drained) or chocolate chunks

I didn't have desiccated coconut, golden syrup and cranberries/apricots so I substituted them with crushed pecans, maple syrup and sultanas respectively in the same quantities. The rolled oats I used also had raspberry bits and coconut in it. You can find the full recipe here.

I ended up with nine balls of dough which I later realised was a mistake- the recipe called for balls the size of walnuts and in my mind walnuts were nearly the size of golf-balls 😂. With the cooking time estimated at 15-18 minutes, I thought that the large cookies would burn at the edges before the centres cooked.

But they didn’t- they were a bit crumbly though even after they’ve cooled, and were not at all, like the commercial store-bought Anzac cookies. And I think that 125 grams of butter was a lot and contributed to the cookie being a tad too moist/oily.

Day 28

There was a time when the one birthday that I really wanted was to be alone in New York; nice hotel, great meals, Broadway, shopping. Now, I can’t even think about travelling without worrying about sickness and death. It feels that we’ve been plunged back into the middle-ages when voyages put you at the mercy of everything from pirates, sea-monsters, scurvy to storms.

In hindsight, perhaps all I ever wanted was to be not remembered- baffling why I’d like something like that- but today, under these circumstances, I seem to mind it less. When the lockdown started, I added work-colleagues to my work-only Facebook account and greetings dutifully came through the whole day; services and products sent their automated greetings and marketing enticements.

I worked, only because continuity for some comms was necessary (and frankly, I was the only one who could do it capably) and I cooked, did chores and by day’s end, I was exhausted. Not the birthday I would have wanted, but a lot of things recently seem out of our control- like last night at the supermarket, I was looking for cream-cheese to make a cheesecake and the space in the refrigerated aisle where it usually was located, was empty. I was thinking maybe I’ll do Sara Lee, got two vegan coconut cakes but returned them when saw an Edmonds cheesecake premixed box; at least it wouldn’t literally come out of the box I thought.

I also got emails that two items I had bought as birthday gifts to myself had been dispatched- wouldn’t be nice to receive fresh new Nikes and a fresh pair of Nudie jeans on my birthday even if it would be stupid to wear them to the supermarket which is the only place I go to these days anyway? But they didn't arrive so that was a bummer.

And then I thought, well, when I wake up tomorrow, it will be a new day, but no different really from yesterday, or today…and that’s that.

Day 25: The true essentials

It’s day 25- this is what worked and what didn’t.

Day 24: Saturday

..and because food is never far away from my mind, I did some baking today. Nothing really complicated or expensive- I didn't even have to buy anything special because I have all the ingredients in the pantry.

It’s a simple lemon cake with a sugary-lemony drizzle; the recipe is from the NY Times of course which you can find here.

Day 23: Friday

I started writing something in the morning but work got in the way, so here we are, with photos again. I suddenly remembered that I have Google Photos; I think these were from Instagram and as you can see, food is never far away from my mind.

Day 22: Work, work, work

Don’t want to talk about it really, work I mean.

Today the government announced going down an alert level next week, but nothing much will change really. I think this is more of an easing for businesses who keep complaining about draining profits. Malls and restaurants will still be closed, but there will be more deliveries- McDonalds, KFC anyone? But food deliveries are expensive so aside from that one KFC meal, I’d stick to going to the supermarket which I enjoy, and cooking my own meals.

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Day 19: You're allowed one 'unproductive' day

Well, not really when I’ve managed to get a head-start for tomorrow’s work schedule; read all the documents; tested the new builds in the back-end; fixed up my documentation notes. When I was younger I didn't have much of a strong study ethic because I didn't see any value in it for me, but now I do. Nothing is worse than coming up to a Monday unprepared mentally and physically.

And there’s no excuse because as an adult with adult resources at your disposal, you can be prepared- your clothes (I always wear nicer things on Monday); your face (I wind down early on Sunday so I could rest earlier than usual); your lunch (I make my best lunches on Mondays); your tasks- I check all my emails and my scheduled meetings and make a mental map of how I’m going to tackle the day ahead.

And today was no different- but other than that, I didn’t do anything else. Finally finished the Netflix show The Final Table where the eventual winner was someone who didn’t have much of a personality and because everyone worked in teams before the finals, was also someone who didn’t seem to put in the work as much as the other guy who also made it to the finals (that’s what we see anyway on screen).

And there’s a lesson there actually that I should remember - don’t be too prepared; don’t be that bitch who always makes it a point to be too extra. Life is too short- and uncalculated- for you to be always calculating when you can actually relax once in a while. Loaf around. Do nothing for a change. Just this once.

The unassuming Tim Hollingsworth won Netflix’ The Final Table, with a dish he’s cooked before, that trumped the inventiveness and audacity of his competitors. At the end of the day, even chefs who call themselves progressive stick to old habits and …

The unassuming Tim Hollingsworth won Netflix’ The Final Table, with a dish he’s cooked before, that trumped the inventiveness and audacity of his competitors. At the end of the day, even chefs who call themselves progressive stick to old habits and inevitably pick a dish that is neither inventive nor bold, but settled and perfect.

Day 18: Easter

This is not the Easter I know.

My mom spent an Easter with us once in New Zealand and we were looking for fish or seafood and we found squid at Pan N Save that still had ink- they forgot to clean it- and we had to beg and explain to the person at the counter that we wanted it that way.

I remember the long, quiet days when we were little which I didn’t mind; and when we were older, the purely social excursions to church for the Stations of the Cross, where you dressed up and checked out (and judged) everyone you saw. I think I was 13 or 14 and I got obsessed with penny-loafer shoes which I wore with no socks and pegged jeans. I did get them though how, I cannot remember (nor why I was obsessed with them in the first place) and wore them (with a white shirt ) to church to do the Stations of the Cross.

I was looking at my feet the entire time and to this day I can remember their satisfying click on the stone floors and how the new, stiff leather chaffed at my feet but which I didn't mind.

I bought the lamb online- butterflied and boneless South Island grass-fed lamb. For dessert, I thought of making the hot-cross buns we’ve been keeping in the freezer into a bread and butter pudding.

The stuff I would swap for lamb- charcoal-grilled bangus with squid cooked in its ink and vinegar; pan-fried tilapia with a squash flower salad dressed in calamansi and fish-sauce; steamed river shrimps with an egg omelet. And the best Easter Sunday lunch? Lechon.

But this is the Easter I now celebrate so…

Day 17: Nothing much

Found a few more clothes in the garage that I’ve barely worn; and they’re clothes that aren’t exactly cheap. Ugh I know- it’s some form of addiction- buying clothes. My mom has always said that I’ve gotten my vanity from Tatay…well. So I laundered them, did an electronic mail-out for work, tried but failed to find resistance bands that I thought were in the garage, and did exercises with weights.

Exercises- still something I haven’t been able to fully do, along with writing and drawing..life is hard!

I also read somewhere that the corona virus can travel up to 13 feet, and that samples taken from the shoe soles of medical staff working with Covid-19 patients tested positive; that if you weren't cautious, your damn shoes can be carriers of the virus!

Did roast pork-belly but I still have to find that fool-proof recipe for really tender- but not falling off the bone tender- meat. Used individual springform pans for scalloped potatoes and kumara and next time, I should just omit kumara. It’s just too sweet! Might try and do a spiced kumara pie or something next time.

Did trendy charred broccoli and realised that I should have blanched it before-hand; it was a bit too al dente and there’s a fine line between burnt and charred.