Spotlight

Three weeks ago, on my I’m-Going-To-Do-A-Million-Things-While-In-Lockdown binge, I obsessed on buying a starter sewing-machine and taking up on my Project Runway fantasies.

Frankly, I would’ve probably struggled even doing hemming for my pants which is perhaps the only thing I would’ve used them for anyway. Today at Spotlight helping Mary hunt for a specific set of knitting needles, the discounts for a variety of sewing machines became even steeper, even reaching 40% for some pretty good overlocker brands.

But I held my attention deficit disorder in check- there’s a SHITLOAD of other important stuff you need to do first I told myself, passing by bolts of cotton, jacquard, wool and tartan.

I remember my mother buying a sewing machine once when we were kids with exactly the same aspiration, as she had grown up, a beautiful, doted on, only child whose dresses were sewn for her by loving aunts and family friends. And all she ever made were curtains, I swear to God, unless I’m remembering it wrong!

Imagine- goddamned curtains- when you can buy them now in any set size, shape and length, all ready to put up.

So it’s a sobering reality check really to know that for some things, it’s never just enough to buy the tool in order to learn the trade.

Sunday eats

I like oatmeal cookies and I like raisins = oatmeal raisin cookies.

This recipe is from here; and I was wanting chewy which is why when I find myself on Queen Street in Auckland’s CBD, I always buy a couple of Mrs. Higgins Rum Raisin cookies which sadly, they don’t seem to make anymore (I also love Rum Raisin ice cream).

But portioning the dough is tricky as I don’t have enough cookie-making experience to know what constitutes a ‘tablespoon of dough’ which doesn’t make sense when dough is neither a liquid nor a powder. And portion is crucial to this recipe especially when you need to refrigerate the dough for a bit so that it doesn’t flatten out really quickly in the oven; and that it bakes for only 12-15 minutes at 170, leaving a centre that’s supposed to be the chewy part. But I had to do what I had to do and the dry stickiness of the dough actually made it easier to form uniform shaped balls.

The dough did bake within the prescribed 12-15 minute period but I extended it a bit to like 20. I also switched the two trays because even if the partition was exactly in the middle, the lower tray cooked faster.

Was it what I expected? Not really. I could taste what seemed like baking soda (even if I had used only a teaspoon). The centre was chewy yes, but not as gooey rich as I hoped.

I may do this again, but will find another recipe.

(photos taken by the Lumix G9, with a Lumix G 25mm F1.7 lens)

Two things that frustrate me

Don’t know where to begin although I’ve already started.

1. Photography

2. Fitness

Questions:

1. Should I get a photography course?

2. Should i do self-learning? (already started, but I need to be more organised)

3. Should I go back to the gym?

4. Should I get a personal trainer?

Yes I'm a happy forty-something, nearing fifty-something soon (Part 2)

14. Go easy on the outrage- or maybe, just don’t get into it. Because is there a point still to it, aside from feeling something a little bit better than helplessness?

15. Channel tricky stuff like outrage inward and turn it into something that benefits you. A snarky tweet will not change the world even if it gets a million likes, just saying.

16. It’s okay finally to be selfish- but with boundaries.

17. It’s okay to eat anything- once a year!

18. Health is TRULY wealth

19. SAVE- my mother always gave that advice as well as the horrors you’ll get when you don’t- and it’s better late than never, though there will be things you have to give up because you can’t afford them.

20. It’s nice to aspire to something- but start counting how much that is costing you.

21. Live simply- it won’t work all the time, but keep trying.

22. Don’t ever let yourself believe that you can’t live without something

23. In time, you will forget and realise that you’re still alive and more importantly, better off.

24. Exercise. All. The. Time; and no activity is too small or inconsequential.

25. There is a lot about your body you can change, and I’m not talking about plastic surgery.

I feel progressive

Remember bifocals and how, looking into your grandparents’ magnified eyes, you would never have thought in a million years that you’d be wearing the same thing?

Four decades and ageing eyes later, you’re here thanking technology and thanking fate that maybe you were lucky as well. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten positive comments about progressive glasses- headaches, blurring, fainting, crashing the car (unlikely for me because I don’t drive).

However, I only considered them because I mistakenly thought they were going to be cheaper. I wasn’t convinced they were going to work so I thought, might as well get cheaper frames so if it turned out that they were blurry, made me faint or crash into things, the expense wasn’t going to be too much. As it turned out, I was wrong on the 1st one and correct on the 2nd.

The gradation of the lenses was seamless and allowed me to finally have just one pair where I can see what’s far, what’s in the middle (like three feet away from me) and what’s up close like when I’m reading.

I would most likely still use my current glasses (I have two) for long distance and the other for reading like when I’m home, but I wouldn't need to bring two pairs every time I went out (worse when I’ taking photos where I need to switch to my readers to see what I had taken). Still, they don’t come cheap at over $900 where the cost of the Armani frames that I picked was just $150.

What's your beef?

I should have asked my aunt (Amelita) about this but asking someone where they got their beef is not a question that pops up in your head everyday, so….Anyhow, when I studied at the UP, I stayed at my aunt’s house in the weekends and the meals she made, same as my dad’s, were amazing- restaurant quality.

One day, she made what I remember to be beefsteak Tagalog- beef strips cooked in garlic and soy-sauce with a tangy tinge of sourness from kalamansi.

But this beef was different- it came from Australia, brought to the house by my aunt's former household help who married an Australian. It was tender, not from cooking, but from the quality of the beef itself. And it was buttery but not in a way that was cloyingly rich.

I don’t think we’ve ever had that beef dish ever again and to this day, I still keep looking for it. I’ve been to Australia of course and had steak from the usual best places in Sydney and Melbourne, but nope- not the same. New Zealand boasts some of the best beef in the world as well, but nope- haven’t found anything that came close and I’ve tried every cut and every specialist type from angus to wagyu (though not anything above a marble score of 5 of course).

I’ve suspected that maybe, the secret was the way that it was cooked- that I probably haven’t mastered the best way to cook beef, or worse, I’ve been cooking my beef wrong- it’s possible.

Anyhow, the beef cut above is a boneless rib roast or something and it’s just from the supermarket. It looks small-ish in the photo but it’s about 1.5kilos which is good enough for two meals. Like I said, having had more than my usual allotment of beef during the lockdown contributed to my higher cholesterol reading so I shouldn’t really be having it, but I’m lessening my portions.

It’s a tough cut so one portion would go into a usual beef stew and the other portion might be a slow-cooker pulled beef one for a tortilla night.

Yes I'm a happy forty-something, nearing fifty-something soon (Part 1)

This is my take if I may, from Leila’s post which you can read here; the gist is: People who are 40+ and happy with their life, what is your advice to people in their 20s?

My sibling’s kids- Matt is 20+ and Ally and Toni are not far behind- are sensible and raised well-enough to make good decisions, so it hasn’t occurred to me at all to give them advice (they can ask me for a phone sure or money if I have to spare and I can always give these…), but I’m not their parent. And at some point, all of us have become adults on a level, if not ever shifting playing field and it may well be, that they may give me advice who knows?

And because I’m always extra (this is number 12), here’s FORTY:

1. Forgive

2. Forget- the past is dead. If you committed something heinous though like murder or theft, THAT IS NOT exempt lol

3. Believe in God because there is one

4. Pray whenever you can

5. Have faith in yourself first because it starts there

6. if you need help, go ask for it

7. Be (always) helpful when you can

8. if you’re naturally unhelpful, then don’t help

9. Nothing is worse than forcing yourself to do something that’s not natural to you (like the colour Khaki).

10. Try though to change parts of yourself that you think, will benefit you if you changed them even if they seem, well, set.

11. Study your habits- not closing lids, not reading instructions, hanging laundry one way, cooking adobe one way- and see if by changing them, life is suddenly better. Little changes actually count. A lot.

12. Try to be extra in everything that you do because nobody has ever liked a half-baked cake; was promoted doing half-assed work; or gotten off satisfyingly from a semi-rigid penis.

13. Don’t be too extra in love though- love is never a resource you should extravagantly waste (and yes, it can be wasted!).

Monday

Back to oatmeal
Got my blood-test results and my cholesterol is a bit elevated- which I knew- but not as high as I thought it would be without medication, which I had stopped as a test.

And the culprit? Food of course- it always is. During the lockdown in an effort to have variety, we’ve had more red meat than we’ve ever had in a long time. And chips- like potato chips- a bagful nearly every week for over a month.

So it’s back to medication (statins) and perhaps, way less of the meat. Like everyone else, I had my oatmeal-in-the-morning run before it was put aside with ever shifting diets and preferences which currently, has me eating nothing until lunch.

The question is, does it work? The answer- I don’t really know. I exercise regularly; I take heaps of supplements and I still don’t know. This is why I rely on regular blood-tests and doctors; the blood-work is a more accurate and definitive picture of the state of your body.

On one hand, I get terribly hungry now before 10am and I don’t think I would’ve lasted until noon without eating something, so oatmeal it is instead of a biscuit.

Arroz Caldo
Rain this whole week is projected which started yesterday, but it looks like it won’t hardly make a difference to the drought situation; the ‘rain’ is a fine mist, like a watery veil that damply caresses your face. But rain always means some humidity and less of the biting fall coldness (winter doesn't officially start until the last week of June apparently) so it’s good.

Made arroz caldo from two large breast chicken pieces and a small cupful of the Jasmine rice we just bought. We don’t have patis- patis and kalamansi juice make an arroz caldo- so I chopped up anchovy fillets instead. What I got was a delicious creamy umaminess that’s more of a risotto if that makes sense. A dash of sesame oil and half of a lemon for a springy sourness made it perfect.

TGIF

The house’s 1st floor where I have my work station is freezing in winter so when I couldn’t stand the cold anymore, I would take breaks outside to warm myself up in the sun. I’ve made peace with the sun now. But it’s a careful friendship. I only stay out 5 to 10 minutes max at a time.

I finish at 2 on Fridays and lately, I’ve embraced the opportunities that shortened work-time brings wholeheartedly even when there was a time when I obsessed the low five figures I could get back if I bumped up to a 40-hour week.

I don’t even bother to get bothered by the stack of laundry, the spot in the dining area that’s predictably full of crumbs that I always fanatically vacuum, or the kitchen cabinets that need re-organising.

I want NOT to care for once because I know that the world continues to spin regardless- that’s right, the world continues to spin regardless of what it’s inhabitants do or don’t do.

So for once, I’m not going to think about the novel I’m going to write, the painting I’m going to create, the food I’m going to cook, or the body I’m going to build with push-ups and 4km nightly runs.

I’m just going to fucking relax and not do shit.

Never ending ZOOM-BAH

Currently obsessed with..

I feel awfully unfit

Back to my other home

It honestly didn’t feel like it had been over a month. We iMessaged and Facetimed nearly everyday. I think if I tried, I could have flown the drone over to Papakura.

Life goes on.

Toni eating feijoas

Jong's bonsai

Online, this is worth about $400

Anything goes adobo

Washington drops off some Korean chicken

Where I sleep

..with a tray of eggs for good luck 😅

Got new glasses

I thought I was saving money by getting cheaper Armani; turns out getting progressive lenses gave me the most expensive bill yet for my stupid eyes

Matt loves Uber Eats

Matt's belated birthday gift

This after receiving clothes for two years of birthdays and Christmases

We love ice-cream

KFC Friday

Wicked wings, rice and patties

Max fail

How difficult is it to make fried chicken right? But trying this very popular recipe made me remember that I’ve never been really successful at making bone-in fried chicken. I’ve made tons of chicken karage, Korean inspired chicken-wings and chicken-wings/nibbles of every conceivable flavour, but have yet to achieve no-nonsense, really good bone-in fried chicken. I’ve followed the steps to the letter and it’s still pollo no bueno…

On one hand, maybe I don’t need to- I’m perfectly happy with KFC chicken and I’ll just stick to that.

Marinate overnight

Boil in some aromatics

Season again & put in the fridge

Deep fried it but...

Not what I was hoping for

I had to put it in the oven to cook further

One good thing though in making a side dish that should go with the chicken is discovering a fast and tasty way to cook kale. In everyday Philippine cooking, there seems to be just two ways to cook vegetables- boiling them (or adding them to stock) or ‘gisa’ (sautee) with tomatoes, garlic and onions and I picked the latter. Kale is tough and fast cooking actually translates to about 30 to 40 minutes of simmering the leaves in a broth until it softens to the texture of wilted spinach. I’ve done laing with silverbeet/chard twice now and I might do the next one with kale.

When you eat once a day...

..you obviously look forward to dinner.. and I do. I even plan 5 days ahead, having already absorbed what everyone’s like and dislikes are- no yolky dishes; chicken should be boneless (which I now prefer after nearly choking on a small bone); carbs are limited to potatoes and rice; fried stuff only once every fortnight; frozen vegetables cooked in butter.

There aren’t enough fresh vegetables though which I can count with two hands- carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, silverbeet, cabbage, tomatoes, cucumber, lettuce- and none of which are as interesting as splendidly bitter ampalaya or the weed-like papait; the perfect foil to beef and pork; fresh malunggay leaves to go with your free-range chicken; steamed okra for grilled bangus; camote and kangkong for pork-ribs sinigang; or spider beans cooked with tausi beans, tofu and asado pork-belly.

Ayyyyy…anyways, here’s what I plan to make in the next couple of days

Chicken Max's style

There’s a version of this at the Capitol Building eatery in Lingayen and I nearly had it every-day. Using the leg and thigh- the best part because you have equal parts fat and red meat- it’s aggressively seasoned and fried in a style that crisps the skin as well as partly though the meat.

Nutella Banana Bread

Everybody’s making banana bread so why not? Recipe from the NYTimes.

Cinnamon Rolls

My sister Doyet has perfected this, now it’s my turn to try it out. Recipe from the NYTimes.

Mason jar ice cream

That’s right, no fancy ice-cream makers required. Recipe from the NYTimes.

Oh, today is Mother's Day

I can’t remember when Mother’s Day first entered my consciousness; growing up, we never observed it. Even today, I actually felt weird sending my mother a message on What’sApp greeting her a Happy Mother’s Day with heart and bouquet emojis. I only did because it’s easier.

I’m not really that generation of easy I Love You’s, quick tears and automatic hugs. You expressed love by doing right by your parents and what they’ve taught you. There are no tears because you followed their advice, followed your own gut, and never reached that point where you had to cry. And who needs a hug when you can give them something like money even if they didn’t need it, only because you can and partly because they taught you the means to earn it.

Basic shortbread

It’s basic alright- didn't realise how basic it was until I looked up the recipe. In some British cookbook published in the early 20th century, classic shortbread contains just three ingredients, flour ("dried and sieved"), butter ("squeezed free of all water") and sugar ("fine caster").

I got the recipe from the NYTimes Food of course and this is the recipe by Melissa Clark:

240 grams all-purpose flour (2 cups)
36 grams rice flour (1/4 cup)
62 grams sugar (1/4 cup), more as needed
2 grams fine sea salt (1/2 teaspoon)
16 tablespoons unsalted butter (1 cup), melted and cooled

• Heat oven to 350 degrees. Line an 8-inch square pan with parchment paper.

• In a bowl, whisk together the flours, sugar and salt. Stir in the butter. Press dough evenly into the bottom of the prepared pan. Bake until golden brown, 40 to 45 minutes. Sprinkle evenly with sugar while warm and slice; cool completely.

As most basic recipes, there are a million variations but I stuck to this one and It turned out to be what I expected it to be.

Baking notes:
1. Is there a way to ‘properly’ melt butter? I melted mine in the microwave but I felt that it ‘cooked’ it- does that affect the final product? It wasn’t as buttery as Melissa promised it was going to be.
2. Don’t over-bake it- stick to the allotted 30-40 minutes. I was looking for that golden surface, but look at the edges. If they’ve browned, alas, it has been over-cooked.
3. The right-sized pan makes the difference in how it cooks (obviously the cooking area). Could you believe I’ve only just now started to actually measure my pans??? I plan to go to the stores to buy pans and make sure I check the sizes first.

Today: Wednesday

The sun’s out and throughout the day, I would go out the porch or the deck upstairs to catch some sun- something I thought I wouldn’t ever do.

Work has been intense- I work as if I’m a driver on a race-track and the objective is endurance. I stop only when necessary. I’m focused. Everything done as quick as they arrive. And I make sure I’m always ahead.

It’s exhausting but oddly satisfying- like bacon and eggs on rice.

Bacon

We buy the supermarket-branded kind and it’s actually good and cheap

Bacon and eggs

..with cold rice

I’m due for my regular blood-test soon so wondering how that would go with the lockdown diet. But to be fair, it has been a balanced one- though I think I’ve had more beef and pork over these last few weeks than I’ve ever had prior. But mind you, we only eat a major meal once a day.

The morning and afternoon’s ‘meals’ consist of lattes, espressos instant coffees and leftovers amounting to just two cups at the most. I thought that chips/crisps would sabotage me, but I haven’t had them as much as I was expecting.

If there were two food items I could store/hoard, it would surely be bacon and eggs- you have fat there and protein and salt which I would prefer any day to sweet.

If only.

Today: Sunday

Rain finally, all over the country and some hope to end a drought in Auckland that was threatening to implement water restrictions.

I used to love rainy weather, but rain in the Southern Hemisphere seems to be different from rain in the tropics. Tropical rain is commanding and resolute in its intensity; you know when it’s coming but wouldn't have an idea when it’s going to stop. Rain here is fitfully fickle, a flaky, shittily cold or annoyingly humid affair which is why Kiwis never really bother to put on a rain-coat or use an umbrella. I can’t count the number of times I would leave South Auckland dressed NOT to get wet, only to arrive in the central city just 30kms away to find sunshine and cloudless skies.

It’s stupid to say, but I miss a proper thunderstorm, a typhoon (already, I can hear my mother chiding me for wishing for something that could potentially kill us).

Normally, I would curl up in bed, with a book, or lately, with some movie, but the patter of rain outside- consistent throughout the day for once- now hardly offers reassuring comfort .

Nasi Goreng

Instant gratification with three hard-boiled eggs

Comfort food

A day made for my favourite Hainanese chicken-rice

Today: Blah

You get those days when you just can’t be bothered. Thank God it’s a Friday- a short day- and I felt that I was on a hot seat, unable to be on it for more than 30 minutes at a time between more Zoom meetings, phone-calls, emails.

I tell myself, walking outside the deck to catch some sun, or going upstairs to bother Sam, contemplating on getting another espresso, or scooping some Indian Aloo Bhujia with my fingers out of the snack jar that 2pm was just within reach. Thank God I hadn’t opted out of my 37.5 for 40. There are some things that extra money can’t buy like a few hours of peace.

When 2pm came, I went straight to bed feeling I could use a nap, took off my Apple watch and thought of putting my phone on silent but then decided against it just in case my boss rang- fine, this one concession. He didn't but I couldn’t sleep anyway. Got out of bed at 4pm, made rice and wondered if ordering for KFC delivery two days in advance was stupid.

I kept checking my watch; in the past, I would get a text message 15 minutes before it was due to arrive with a tracking link for the delivery.

4:55; 4:59. I felt a twinge of irritation and worry. The delivery must have been fucked. Thank God I saved the order confirmation. Soup packets for dinner then?

And then a ping- the chicken was on its way.

YAY.