The cost of health

....is too much. The problem is neither poverty nor hunger, but food inequality. Everyone expects you to eat healthy but wait until you've finished ringing up your items and see how much damage it has done to your budget. To put it into perspective, the food in the photo above cost me $15; smoked salmon (because I need my Vitamin E, good cholesterol) was $9 and the salad (because I need my finer and my vitamins) was $5. And this was just for one lunch.

Fifteen dollars can get a size 14 dressed chicken, two servings of (fried) chips and a large soda; this is dinner for a family of four. Not the healthiest, but obviously your options are dictated by what you can afford.

A Matt gallery

Happy birthday Matt!

Winter is coming...and the colour theme is black

I remember my first working winter in New Zealand. I took the train to the city from Henderson and as it sped down the track, I would spy spots of colour in an otherwise wall of black- everyone was in black. It seems apt as Kiwis stubbornly cling to the belief that the only acceptable weather is warm, sunny and summery; anything that is opposite is an anomaly, an outrage like disliking Marmite or betting against the All Blacks.

Some have budged from the winter uniform since then but black, like anything quintessentially Kiwi (most of the current national sports groups have the word 'black' in their names after all), will never go out of style.

Country Road Wool Cable Knit Crew in black; the new MacBook Pro 15-inch (space grey which is almost black in person lol) with Touch Bar & Touch ID; Nike Zoom All Out Low in black/anthracite; John Varvatos Dark Rebel cologne;  Country R…

Country Road Wool Cable Knit Crew in black; the new MacBook Pro 15-inch (space grey which is almost black in person lol) with Touch Bar & Touch ID; Nike Zoom All Out Low in black/anthracite; John Varvatos Dark Rebel cologne;  Country Road Slim Tapered Black Jean; Kmart shag-carpet in black and silver. 

Happy birthday to me

How you celebrate your birthday shows exactly where your life is at the moment. There was a full decade when it was all about other people; I closed a restaurant once, and a bar just to accommodate everyone I had invited. And these people weren't hangers-on- I was neither rich nor popular- but friends who at that point in my life, were there. And then were gone. I was gone, to a really far country no less. Each time I visit, things change more and more until everything just disappears and I wonder, going through the memories, if the things I remember actually happened.

I had celebrated turning 40 with a quiet dinner at home. I cooked all the dishes I wanted to eat- familiar ones like kare-kare, fried snapper and new favourites like rum and raisin ice-cream for desert- and I was perfectly happy.

This year, it's food again, and family, and new friends and a nagging suspicion that no one's going away just yet.

That road up north

After you've gone past the city of Whangarei, there is nothing much to see in terms of urbanity- just farmlands, forests, dingy road-side cafes. We've been to Paihia before so the whole point of holing up overnight in a motel on the cusp of autumn (though the trees are still stubbornly green) and trying out a much-ballyhooed ribs-dinner was just a welcome break from all that tiresomely tedious urbanity.

But ironically, you do still look for urbanity- a wifi connection, cable and a gourmet ice-cream restaurant. We were looking for seafood but it seems that Kiwi consumers would have nothing to do with a fish unless it arrives on their plate already cleaned and cooked. 

On the way back, we took a side-trip (about 40kms) to a hot-springs area. I can't remember the name of it now as it was in Maori, but when we stepped out of the SUV, Chini shrieked at the bubbling muddy puddles and the stench of sulphur was stronger than Rotorua's. There was a make-shift hut with tarp-covered wooden platforms which looked out over the pools; a series of holes that seemed in their irregular shapes, to have been carved out of the earth by hand. Three to four people could fit in one pool and the instructions were that there was a sequence as to how you transferred from one pool to the next. 

The water was black and we knew without even saying it or putting on that expression on our faces that signified displeasure that there was no way on earth we would be dipping our toes in there. I mean, we could on an adult dare, but the kids would most likely refuse and stay in the car skulking.

We wanted to take the requisite phone photo before we left (it was a sight to see the contrast of white caucasian skin against the black water) but there was no discreet way to take it.

We did another detour, this time to the Tutukaka Coast and on my phone's GPS, the long and winding (literally) road to the destination seemed like an immense effort. But this was expressed only by the kids when they were awake or bothered by one particularly sharp curve.

If I could drive, untethered as I am by any responsibility, I would probably take to these long roads (over perfect surfaces as befitting a first-world country). I remember my moped-riding days that when I was bothered by something or when I couldn't sleep, I would take these slow, comforting rides in the middle of the night, or even when it was raining, just to clear my head.

I probably wouldn't do that sort of thing in the Philippines anymore- and get shot or robbed in the process, but it's a shame that I'm losing out on the opportunity to do it here.

After what seemed like eternity, we arrived at what was called Sandy Bay- a panorama of a rained out beach with angry 2 metre waves, black rocks and blush-pink sand. There was no shade and a motley crowd of locals- lean surfers and portly beach-goers were either changing back to dry clothes or getting ready to hit the surf. We just sat in the car a bit looking out- thinking- until the kids started to whine and Jong had to reluctantly start the engine so we could head back; to home, to urbanity and the comfortingly familiar.

Or the tediously tiresome- I didn't even bother to take a photo.

A few new things I've discovered about myself today

I've started running again, by accident. It was a weekend when everything fell into place; the weather was fine, I finished the laundry, blogged a few things. And I felt fine. So I put on my running shoes, stepped out of the house and did about 3.5kms the first time- the first two kilometres being alternating bursts of brisk walking and sprints. The second day, was about the same distance and while I dropped my pace, I ran all the way. I guess I was distracted by the houses as I ran past wondering who lived in them. Day or night, you never really see the people who lived inside.

The last time I actually ran was sophomore year at university. I took running as a physical education class and we ran around the track in Diliman for the whole semester. For our finals, we went over to the Ateneo and ran around the campus. I've always been realistic when it comes to my physicality and I guess I passed that class even if I can't remember what my final grade was, or what I learned from it. When you're 17, youth affords an invincibility, an imperviousness that unfortunately also applies to life lessons.

So when I got an email for a muscle balance assessment from a local physio I thought, it's never too late to know- and this is what I found out:

1. My right foot is nearly half an inch shorter than my left (8 versus 7.6)
2. I have weak glutes! (aaaarrgggggghhh)
3. Running or even walking, my feet tend to collapse quickly on their arches which explains the quick shin pain and tightness of my outer thighs.
4. I tend to favour my right foot even while standing up
5. My left foot is over-pronated.

Coming back for corrective exercises..

Some nifty things

Nifty to me means:

1. Affordable
2. Uncomplicated
3. Easy

Where superheroes come to die

Alternate Universe 1
I am over 6 feet tall, eyes as blue as a summer’s sky and impossibly perfect. I can sit down to eat huge meals of fried pork with mounds of white rice and washed down with real coca-cola. I go to bed at 3am after having binge-watched my favourite shows, half-finished a book and wake up- clear eyed, head buzzing- at 6 and head out to the beach on my bike, for a swim. In the icy cold ocean, I swim with the ease of someone seemingly born in water. I head out further, deeper and let myself sink, face-up towards the surface. Reflexively, my chest pulses, the network of serrations open, letting the water in and I start to relax as the oxygen dissolves into my blood-stream and I can breathe. The glimmering surface starts to fade and my pupils adjust- the darkness around me is no longer empty. I take a last lingering look at the world above, at the twinkling double suns before swiftly pivoting, barreling downwards into the world below.

For someone who has no idea of its comic-book origins (I didn’t until the end of the movie), Logan is real life- in your face, wrinkly, ageing, coughing, saggy, sad, regretful, bitter real life. Something is physically wrong with Wolverine- he is working as a chaffeur in Texas and Professor Charles Xavier is suffering from neurodegenerative disease, confined to bed and taking bootleg meds to keep his massive telepathic powers from getting out of control. The other X-Men are nowhere to be found and no new mutants have been born in the last 25 years.

New-Logan-trailer-is-coming.gif

So when an 11 year old girl appears who later reveals herself to be a man-made, cloned version of Wolverine himself, it’s the beginning of the end; it’s the child seemingly usurping the parent. 

And death is all over this film; gone is the PG-13 filter. Adamantium blades slash across throats, severe limbs, stab through heads underneath, on top. Professor Xavier’s regretful pining of something in the past is more personal. It’s not about the world, or abstract philosophical questions. It’s about personal redemption, and whether he gets it we can’t really tell as another clone of Logan- X-24, unleashed by the shadowy Transigen group catches up with them and stabs Xavier as he lies in bed in a medicated fugue. 

But it's when Logan succumbs to a fatal wound that something catches in our throat. And it's not the sentimentality of the cloned little girl crying out 'daddy' that gets us, but the fact that mortality and death catch up with those that seem impervious to it- at least in this alternate universe, it does.

Old Man Logan is an alternative version of Marvel Comics' popular character Wolverine. This character is an aged Wolverine set in an alternate future universe designated as Earth-807128, where super villains overthrew the super heroes. Original…

Old Man Logan is an alternative version of Marvel Comics' popular character Wolverine. This character is an aged Wolverine set in an alternate future universe designated as Earth-807128, where super villains overthrew the super heroes. Originally introduced as a miniseries in the ongoing seriesby writer Mark Millar and artist Steve McNiven, the character became very popular with fans. After the Death of Wolverine, X-23 took the mantle of Wolverine, but Old Man Logan was brought in to serve as an X-Man and featured in his own ongoing series.[1

The (future) architect is in the house

The last of a long list of March birthday celebrants; so I couldn't let the month end without a shout-out post to my god-daughter Toni Dominique (her birthday was 8th March).

I stalked her on the net looking for photos away from my usual source (weiwitch.com) and was surprised to discover how involved she is with her architectural course at the University of the Philippines in Diliman. 

So here are five innovative spaces borne not only out of human creativity and imagination but also more importantly I think, from a genuine love of what you do- so continue loving what you do Tonic and everything will fall into place..X

Adele Live 2017: a concert that actually made you feel good about yourself

I'm for nostalgia only when it comes to family. For music- sure, it's a trip listening to those 80s and 90s tunes- but I am hinged (on that rare occasion) to the present. That is why when Madonna came to New Zealand, there wasn't really that attachment anymore to music that felt firmly rooted in the past (Material Girl in the late 80s and Vogueing to Vogue at the University of the Philippines in the 90s). I discovered Adele by accident way before she imploded. And while those sad and forlorn train commutes listening to 'One and Only' are now in the past, I am still hinged to her music (pre-ordered 25 and I NEVER EVER buy music) because:
1. I do love ballads
2. I am always partial to music I can sing (and I can actually sing thank you very much)
3. And while music can be many things to many people, it is to me, something that is personal and relatable. And Adele is relatable.

When she came on and without hesitation, plunged into the downpour, you already felt that you've gotten your money's worth; that this is one person you feel that you actually know. That she actually comes closest to being real is both an enigma and an anomaly in this day and age where people share a lot of things, a lot of which are not even 'real'.

The only bullshit thing about the concert was the stupid Auckland rain- but then I thought, I probably would only be able to experience this once. Adele had said after all, she didn't care about the money. The tour could be her last. That two armies wouldn't be able to coax her to do one more album. That family, happiness and peace of mind, were far more valuable things.

She couldn't have been more right.

What makes you happy

Apparently, today is International Day of Happiness. After having spent the whole weekend working at our annual show thingy, I was exhausted by Sunday but still believed that if I slept early, I would wake up recovered Monday. But I didn't because I watched the latest episode of Greys Anatomy and had to wake up to get a ride with Mary at 6:30am- which I could have cancelled the night previous but didn't.

But that's two things that make me happy- sleep and watching Greys Anatomy.

At the office, my boss looked bleary eyed but refused to admit he was tired from the weekend as well. He gives me that pensive look and asks the one question every boss should ask- 'are you happy?'. And I answer with the truth- 'I am'. 

I get excited for Mondays. I curate what I wear. I don't eat tragic sandwiches for lunch. And if you're happy at work; that's about half the healthy total.

The other half are:
Knowing the kids are safe, healthy and happy too

Shoes

IMG_3252.jpg

Great food

Memories of home

Rain and cold

LOVE

Friendships

And so the challenge ends- but not really

Sunday
I wake up at 11am with swollen eyes. It's raining again and in quantities that Aucklanders are not used to. I know it's mean but I can picture (with glee) drivers on the wet road acting as if they just finished their driving lessons last week. Auckland is a great city- a fact (in spite of the housing problem, the growing gridlock) but Aucklanders are one of the stupidest drivers in the world- also fact. It's Sunday and I've nearly completed the challenge (Leila is catching up) which is hardly a challenge, and Leila and I both know that. The whole point really of the exercise is to point out the obvious; you don't need challenges. You just have to fucking do it. You also have to say that to yourself as forcefully as you can. And if you can't do it, then you have to remind yourself of it another time to do it. And then try to do it and if you fail, well, you have to try and do it again. And again. 

There are days- weeks even- when I just fall blissfully into routine, silencing that voice with dreams that bleach themselves out with the lateness of the day; you eventually wake up at 11am, 12 noon because there is nothing else to dream and your eyes are full and swollen.

I dab a cold anti-eye puffiness roller ball under my eyelids and plunge into the shower.

We drive to Newmarket and the rain for the first time in a long while, is not the spitting, insipid thing it normally is. The gutters along Broadway in Newmarket have become swirling rapids and Kiwis, normally blasé about rain showers have been forced to tote umbrellas, don water-repellent jackets. 

Selera Malaysian restaurant in Newmarket

Selera Malaysian restaurant in Newmarket

The normally robust Sunday crowd has also been thinned by the weather and finally, empty seats at the always busy Selera Malaysian restaurant. Sitting down to perennial favourites Mee Goreng and Hainan Chicken, you realise that the food is nothing spectacular- just honest, well-cooked home dishes which incidentally, are perfect for the weather. That chicken Big Mac may have to wait.

Quilted leather-bar stools at Chanel

Quilted leather-bar stools at Chanel

Don't ask me how I ended up at the Chanel store in Britomart, but I've discovered that (outside of the US, at least in Honolulu), high-end stores usually have the best staff. So I don't get the stories of customers who get rebuffed by snooty sales-staff because of the way they dress. That Asian lady with the funny shoes and the cabbage smell may just matter-of-factly, humbly pay for her low five-figure purchase with a black AMEX.

Man, it's so humid outside I non-chalantly say to Petra the sales-associate. She smiles and deftly tips my face up before delicately spritzing a fine mist of Chanel's Hydra Beauty Essence mist. That should do the trick she softly purrs before attending to another customer.

See what I mean.

I had to cook Sunday dinner for the flat-owners grandmother, this lovely old Scottish lady named Doris and I promised a Filipino styled meat-loaf, 'embutido'. So from Chanel, I end up at Save Mart, an Asian supermarket. I was specifically looking for RAM pickle-relish (there was none) and Sun-Maid raisins before realising that I could go to a regular supermarket and get gherkins and sultanas. I spy some Choc-Nuts and pray to God they weren't off- we have a Pangasinan word for it- 'maali' which means the oil used in the sweets has gone rancid.

It hadn't.

Sunday, 10pm
I remember when my mother first attempted 'embutido'. She unwrapped it and the mince had not set at all for some reason. It was a few months after my dad had passed away and she was trying to learn how to cook. We didn't laugh even if on another day, another time, it would have been hilarious. She cried and it took all my willpower not to burst into tears. 

No such mistake for me but this would have to be a separate post for another day. Suffice it to say that I wasn't completely happy with that I made; I've set aside a roll in the freezer for Doyet to taste and to tell me what I had missed.

I start on the last post for the seven-day challenge:

Sunday
I wake up at 11am with swollen eyes. It's raining again and in quantities that Aucklanders are not used to...

But I just know that I wouldn't be able to finish it, not tonight at least.

But it's okay. I'll finish it tomorrow.

Monday, 9:40pm
And I do. Goodnight!

 

#WinterIsComing

Back in December when I went home to the Philippines for the holidays, it took me two weeks to get used again to the heat. All pervading, you live your life around it; you worked hard to be able to afford a home and personal transport with air-conditioning or be employed to begin with, by a company whose office building is a continually temperate 21 degrees. Men unabashedly use umbrellas and tote around ugly cross-body bags filled with a towel, facial astringent and face-wash. 'Fashionistas' pretend it doesn't exist and buy cardigans and jackets from Zara or H&M and layer up in December, as they enter one artificially-cooled environment to another.

In the last four years before I left for New Zealand, I had taken to buying Nike Dri-Fit clothes almost exclusively (not cheap nor acceptable in a lot of social situations) and wearing shorts and sneakers. In this get-up, I looked like someone who went to the gym at 8am and stayed there for eight-hours. At home, my brother and I were always topless (even dad when he was alive) decorum forgotten when there were guests around and it was always too late to put a shirt on before the introductions were made.

I arrived in New Zealand in the middle of winter, a season Kiwis love to hate, and I knew, shivering in 11 degree cold, that I had to stay indefinitely- it felt like home in that way you define home as being the place where you're truest to yourself and I say it unequivocally to anyone who asks- I hate the heat. I don't have to put up with it anymore, or live around it. 

The world may be changing and headed towards higher temperatures than ever before, but I'm not going to worry about that for now. 

I'm just going to take it one winter at a time.