Eating alone is a journey

Sam and Mary have started on the no-eating-anything-except-vegetables-or-air diet so I’ve been on my own as far as meals are concerned.

It was difficult doing my own thing at first which is funny because the whole process of preparing our meals was actually hard work:
1. you had to work with a fortnightly food budget of only $300
2. you need to make sure fresh ingredients are used before they go off
3. you need to use leftovers (which I loathe)
4. you need variety (important to me!)
5. you needed a healthy balance (even if given a choice, I’d have pork 6x a week)

It was easier during lockdown because I worked from home and I could start cooking at 4pm, but if I did go to the office on some days, I had about an hour to cook when I got home at 4:30, not that it mattered really if we ate late. But I wanted to get it done so I could exercise, or read or watch something.

But getting rid of the whole thing altogether (for now at least), was strangely freeing and unfamiliar. It makes you realize how much of meal preparation and meal-times are such rigid set-routines.

It goes all the way back to your childhood when you were called upon to eat and there were no buts around that. And that you couldn’t eat in bed (which I now do), or that if you were eating something expensive such as prawns or lobster, it had to be portioned. Or that you need to eat on time, or have three meals a day.

But ‘eating alone’ has thrown all the rules out the window, and now you can do anything:

1. …but not eat anything you want, like pork belly Tuesdays, fried chicken Wednesdays and Thursday night ribs. You just can’t. And I’m fine with that now.

2. I had pork ribs the other week though (St. Louis brand imported from the US) and the whole rack (about 1.5kgs) lasted me through two meals.

3. There’s such a thing as too many shrimps- especially when they’re frozen. Not as good as fresh.

4. I can’t have just toast for dinner. I tried and it’s stupid because I just get hungry after an hour. I’m working out constantly now that I can feel my energy ebbing when I don’t eat anything substantial.

5. There is something spare but beautiful in a plate of grilled salmon over ramen noodles.

6. Suddenly you have heaps of time to do stuff.

7. You save money

I'm actually fine...

..but not inclined to write about it. And this is the thing- I don’t do that much writing anymore. Work is fulfilling. Work makes me happy, I’m good at it, I’m fast and efficient, and I get paid well. But it’s no longer just writing.

At the end of the day, I finish chores, get to work-out (and can see changes in my body that I like) and I need to rest and relax, and there’s Netflix, my reading list (Gabriel Garcia is next, ugh), Lily the cat.

And then I remember writing so I open a fresh page (I’m currently using Evernote) and then close my eyes. When I was younger, there was a whole different world to see when I opened them. Now, it’s just this ratchet real one that I see. It’s like, I’ve lost that access. And I’m stuck here, but then you know, it’s fine, I’m happy. But there’s always a but…

small and inconsequential things

I found myself in the last few days, doing small, seemingly inconsequential things like finally getting containers for the olive and rice bran oils that I’ve been using for cooking. We got white plastic squeeze bottles, the kind you’d find at a restaurant and labelled them accordingly. Now they’re no longer in their 2 gallon and two-litre containers near the stove with an invisible pool of oil underneath. No matter how careful you were hoisting them up and tipping them over, there was almost always a small rivulet of oil that ran down the side which you end up not bothering to wipe off. And now that’s changed. And after that, I moved on to sorting the coffee area; threw away expired packets of protein powder; empty boxes of tea and using the espresso machine again. And this weekend, it’s sorting the pantry, rearranging the cupboards and doing an inventory on baking stuff, because yes- if I end up getting a Kitchen Aid mixer for the birthday, I just might take baking a bit more seriously.

Chores- they may seem insignificant, but they can save your mind you know..

Stop. It doesn't really concern you

You know what, it’s a beautiful day; I’ve finished my work; the cat looks happy resting under a side garden we’ve fixed up that’s now flourishing and healthy; I finally shed 1.5kgs (not that I even needed to when my weight is an ideal 74kgs); it’s a Thursday and there’s a relaxing three-day weekend ahead.

So why be bothered by anti-vaxxers, the Marcoses or people complaining why Chanel had a horse trot down its runway??? THEY COULD ALL GET FUCKED. Bye.

Office essentials

  1. AirPods (the fucking 3rd gen ones don’t fit- I had to put a ‘condom’ over them so they could stay stuck inside my ears but just barely).

  2. An external drive (where all my working files are so I could work literally anywhere as long as I have it and a laptop).

  3. Sunglasses

  4. Readers

  5. gum

  6. mask

  7. sweet treat (just for this week).

Back to the office

Who doesn't want to be in the office?

There’s free coffee from a professional-grade coffee-maker, cookies and biscuits on the house, a one-hour break (30 minutes for morning tea and 30 for lunch) and great air-conditioning?

Assessing 2021

I never look back. I may glance over once and while, but what is done is done.

I don’t remember even half of my past, only because I’m 101% sure, that I never, ever repeat bad decisions, not that I’ve actually made many.

But it’s the habits that can trip us. It’s those little things like not taking care of your body (I’m good at this, but don’t want to be that ‘perfectly’ healthy person that dies suddenly of a heart attack and becomes a cautionary tale); postponing things far too often (like trips to the dentist), or buying things too often (I give myself a B+ for 2021).

So in assessing 2021, I think I could have done better, way better. So for 2022, I will try again and perhaps harder this time.

That’s all we can really do…

Relax my ass

The following things relax me:

1. A cup of coffee
2. Work task done and dusted
3. Clean carpets
4. Not having spent much (this is a recent thing)
5. No pending work task the next day (because I’ve all done them the day previous).
6. A good meal that wasn’t too complicated to prepare
7. A flat stomach (on some days)
8. Finished a work-out
9. A good book
10. A good short-something on any of the streaming services

So eight days into the Christmas break, I feel like I’m over it. I should have planned it better, but then planning is also hardly relaxing. But really, there are only so many hours you can spend not doing anything; only so many chocolates you can eat before you feel absolutely sick. I look at the time I have to spend on holiday and it triggers the same feeling I get looking at the Prezzy card I got from work; I don’t want to fuck it up by wasting it on shit.

Noche Buena 2021

A Simple Prayer for Christmas Dinner

Dear God, we give thanks for this time when we can all be together. We give thanks for this food which is bountiful and delicious. We give thanks for this joyful holiday when we can celebrate our Savior and his love for us. With joy we pray, Amen

I've missed the city

First time I saw the Auckland CBD, I thought, is this it?

At about 4+ km2, Makati City in comparison is nearly 8x bigger. Funny how you equate size with greatness which is kinda true if all you think that makes a city great is what you can buy, see and eat in it.

And there’s not much of that to be honest. But after 13 years living just 21kms outside the city (the funny thing is how Kiwis think of that commute as torturous when they haven’t experienced EDSA) I’ve learned that quality is really better than quantity- part of that is the fact that as you grow older, less is better for your health and survival and yes, happiness.

You get to adapt to a way of life where you get to compare and assess your needs and wants, and realise that not being able to find a good French restaurant is NOT a fucking big deal. Or that you can’t find the jeans you want at the mall.

Living in Auckland is all about managing your expectations, which is a great thing to learn if you find yourself living elsewhere (I don’t think I will).

The city was almost empty today when I went to pick up these shoes I bought; but then it’s never always full even on a work-day, pre-Covid. The density is such that you don’t get to literally rub shoulders with crowds on the streets (which is why our Covid rates are low) which now- Covid era- is gross.

I could have stopped for coffee, but Starbucks wasn’t on my way, and I’m still trying to be careful- the city may be empty, but not all of its occupants are necessarily visible…

The week before Christmas

Christmas for me is like going to another country- the getting there is the more exciting part.

I think because in my head, I have all these images and expectations of what the day is going to be like, and they rarely ever match-up with reality. But the getting there- the tomorrow and the next days that you never quite plan for- offer the most surprises. And yet, we never try to relinquish control to the fates.

But yes- everything is ready. The menu for the next two weeks has been planned; special food is on its way; all gifts wrapped and accounted for; special personal items bought (yup, bought the jacket and the shoes); work is sorted; even tried to whiten my teeth again- and yes, root canal schedule for January has been set.

What else?

I have a spare $400; what should I buy with it?

I have no kids, no dependents. I save more than 10% of my income. I’ve been working way too hard- and I haven’t bought much non-essential stuff really. I just realised, what am I giving myself this Christmas??

Still struggling with the heat/ a list

  1. Found a new dental practice- young, enthusiastic and thorough. And most importantly, got actual dates to fix this fucking tooth.

  2. Time to get a taste of some holiday food that I’ve been missing; deluxe, gourmet fruit-cake, caviar on toast, pork lechon (hopefully), truffled cheese, chicken-skin..

  3. What to watch??? Dune, Spiderman, James Bond and the Eternals all showing at the same time..

  4. Haven’t been exercising as much because of the heat and I think I’m plateauing.

  5. Still on the hunt for little gifts

Good to be home again

We’re not a sentimental family. If I was caught out of the borders, I wouldn’t be one of those sob losers (much as I sympathise with their plight) blaming the government for choices I’ve made.

But it’s more than great to see everyone again.