Nothing makes you feel older than losing your teeth.

You can regenerate your skin (to a certain extent), you can start building even better muscles at way past your 40s, you can be slim forever (well, I am), but if your teeth are fucked, that’s it. Having fake teeth put in don’t count. I realised this yesterday when the dentist told me I needed to get an impacted wisdom tooth removed. I’ve been putting off going to the dentist for the longest time because I just couldn’t get over the cost of care in this country- and yet, here I am mulling whether to get a new pair of Yeezy’s.

So take heed, stop drinking coke with real sugar, quit smoking and book a dental clean ASAP. You can’t keep using your teeth until they’re manky like my bakeware which I threw out today (all of them save for a few, still good, far from manky spring-form pans) when a whole new set arrived today, bought from the Labour Weekend sale at Briscoes.