If I Was The President
1. I would ban all tricycles and other forms of transport which are unable to maintain a travelling speed of at least 75kph from major highways and national roads to lessen congestion. P_ tang ina; umaakyat kami sa zig-zag na daan, sampung sasakyan naka-convoy at 25kph dahil lang sa tricycle sa unahan!
2. I would ban the use of so-called 'man-bags' by men, defined as any sort of pouch/bag/purse that is slung across the shoulder and may possibly be used to hold such things as cigarettes (smoking is BAD for your health); make-up (YUK! Kalalaki mong tao); or drugs (obviously).
3. I would compel all telecommunication companies to have a standard set of pre-paid credit load plans/top-ups. The proliferation of all these unlit/surf-max/e-load/GigaSurf/Pasa-Load/SOS Load/Express Pasa-Load/GoSakto/GoSurf/GoUnli/UnliTXT/GOAllNet/GoSakto/TextAll/RegaLOAD IS GODDAMNED CONFUSING. The poor who cannot afford to subscribe to a post-paid plan are made to believe that all these are saving them money, but in reality, they end up paying more, sa ka-lo-load nila!
4. I decree that by 2018, every household in the Philippines be connected to the Internet either by ADSL, VDSL or Fibre depending on location. The rich should not monopolise the Internet and I have this nagging suspicion that Internet cafes corrupt the youth.
5. I decree that all OPM (Original Pilipino Music) can only be revived TWICE. I was listening to the radio the other day and sabi ko, p_tang ina- ilang beses na bang na-revive yang Neocolours song na iyan??? Aside from the fact that Neocolours pa rin and the best na version, this is also to encourage our artists to be more creative, productive and original. Tama na yung paulit-ulit!